I was trying to think of a title for this email and all I could come up with is "change" because it's the most accurate word to describe this week. Changes with this new transfer, changes in the people we are teaching, and changes in my view of life.
With today being transfer day, I don't have much time to go into all the details, but this week was a hard one. Sister Zhang left me on Sunday night and that was really hard. Hermana Buckwalter and I drove our companions to the mission home to send them off and I became Hermana Buckwalter's companion just for a couple of days. We had to say goodbye and I will miss Sister Zhang so much. She was such a weirdo and I loved all her little quirks. She will do amazing things in China and hopefully will go to school here in the states. Then I can see her!
Our friend Mona has been having a really hard time and her fellowship, Sister Thompson, asked us to stop by her house last Sunday. We said a prayer with Mona and taught her what the priesthood is and suggested she get a priesthood blessing. I was doubtful that she would actually ask for one, but we got a text from Sister Thompson a couple of days later. She said Mona felt so much better since our prayer with her and that she wanted to receive a blessing! It was a miracle!
We had a pretty rough lesson with Evan which brought me to a new low. He opened up to us how he feels that he is just going through the motions and none of this is actually making him happy. He doesn't have a desire to quit all of his addictions because he feels it will change his nature. I understand that he is scared to take this next step. I just wish he could see how much the gospel would bless his life if he just submitted fully. Of course that is easier said than done. Evan has been dealing with a lot lately and I know he has felt the Spirit. It can just be easy to forget that feeling when everything else in life is not what we want it to be. We just keep praying for him that one day he will see the light.
As a result of hitting my halfway mark, I have been reflecting on what kind of person I want to be by the end of this short period of time. Something that has been on my mind recently is how we choose to measure success. Some people measure success only by what they can see. For example, if an area is having a lot of baptisms and finding new people to teach. This is great and I do love having a large teaching pool, but it's not always a good way to reflect a missionary's success. I mean, it's no wonder we as missionaries get so easily discouraged when the numbers turn out to be lower than we had hoped for and we feel like failures.
Success isn't a matter of just the things we observe; it includes all the moments that happen behind the scenes. Those little moments where we touch a person's life and may never know the impact we had on them. Some missions have been blessed with hundreds of prepared people. They are helping people be baptized almost every week and that's incredible. Sometimes I wonder why I was sent to an area of the world that's harder to find prepared people. Many nights I have just cried to the Lord asking why these people are so set in their ways that they cannot see a greater purpose to their lives. As I've pondered some more this week about this question, I came to the conclusion that Heavenly Father knew I was the type to try and measure my success based only on the things I could see. He knew that if had a baptism every week, I would get prideful about my successes and wouldn't take time to appreciate the small miracles that happen in between. Heavenly Father needed me to work for those prepared people and to struggle alongside them. He wanted to teach me how to build people up when they fall, just as I have learned to do for myself. He wanted me to experience Christ's Atonement firsthand and I'm grateful Heavenly Father didn't make the first half of my mission easy.
Now I know what true success is and that comes from helping a child of God feel the Spirit in his or her life again. By reminding them of their purpose in this life, we invoke a change in their hearts that may take years to be acted upon, but the change of heart is there. We are making a difference whether we see it or not. And that is what my mission has taught me so far.
Also, I'm going to be a sister training leader so PRAY FOR ME that I don't mess this up! Love you all and hope all is well!
love,
sis. smith
I love Hermana Acevedo (she went home the same time Sister Zhang left) I miss her so much!
Look at the cherry blossoms! Spring is here!
Final pic of the best zone ever
These are my people
Oh yeah..I wore a snake at a member's house. Just for fun
Sister Zhang!!
Eating pho and drinking bubble tea with Hermana Buckwalter 😁
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